Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
