I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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