a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
