Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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