i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
did you just send me my own nude
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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