VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
