my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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