i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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