omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
