Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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