You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
