Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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