I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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