did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
