yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
