some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
