I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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