I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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