im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize