are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
