I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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