The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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