Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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