carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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