my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
