I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
