U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
