my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
sick fucks of a feather flock together
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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