Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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