We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
