I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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