So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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