Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize