I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
