i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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