Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
