I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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