This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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