so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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