dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize