My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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