4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
