ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
