She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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