You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
