i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize