sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
