How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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