So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
