I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This girl is more easily done than said...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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