wake up i wanna do it froggy style
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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