the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
