i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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