Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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