The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
