I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
