so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
