He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
