Plan B is the new Plan A
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
