I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
