Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she was so not down for the gang bang
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
