She said her name was "party"
Someone shit on the floor
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
