I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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