he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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