pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I haven't been this sober since birth.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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