Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
