i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
