Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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